· 3 min read

This Exists

A Decorative Image

I’ve let myself down. One of my goals setting up this site was to be “consistent” in writing. There is this oft-heard story about a pottery class where a group that made more pots also created better quality pots eventually than the group tasked with just creating the single “perfect” pot. So, I thought, if I could write bad posts often enough, I could get better at writing.

It’s not that I’ve pursued perfection in writing and been stopped by something like writer’s block. Far from it - I’ve been satiated by just the act of setting up this site. I’ve been misled into thinking that this site was the goal, not the writing. I threw myself with enthusiasm into setting up the template, creating the github actions that would publish this blog, and adding bells and whistles that would just make this site so much more ‘perfect’. Once done, and a few posts in, I lost steam.

The previous post was in September 2022. Since then, I’ve had some struggles and some wins.

First started a long period where there was not much work coming my way. I grew frustrated, and angry with others who were doing work that I thought I could be doing. I’ll admit to feeling hard done by.

Then, I transitioned from supply chain / OR cases to Generative AI work - and it’s been a blast. I feel like I am finally adding value to my collagues and to our clients. The team has been great and very friendly and supportive. So I am now in a good place, work-wise. It’s hard not to feel that Generative AI will be the area where I will make or break the rest of my career as it winds down. It is redefining a lot of business areas and will continue to be a major driver of innovation in the years to come.

On the running front, I decided that I will not run a half-marathon in 2023. Instead I focused on doing body-weight workouts. My goal is to be able to do 1 chin up (!) this year. I think I’m close. Having said that, running is still a great way to relieve stress. I run, but without the goal of running in another half-marathon.

Perhaps I should set my sights on a full marathon, but before that I want to run for fun for a while.

I’m not going to write all my thoughts and a blow-by-blow of events of my life on this site. At the same time I don’t know what I should be writing about, and waiting for inspiration seems like the wrong way to go about being consistent. If I force myself to write, I feel turned off by the bad quality. It’s hard to finish a post when I keep asking myself “what do I want to write about” while also rejecting the ideas that do come up.

I suppose that’s why that story about the group that made bad pots is instructive. They didn’t turn away from making bad pots, and eventually they got better. If I write consistently badly, will I eventually become better, or will I have a pile of garbage that will be the subject of many regretful thoughts in the future? Only time will tell.